A Love Letter to my Sisters
Fabulous, stunning, intelligent, warm, caring, devoted, successful, open, graceful, patient, kind, authentic, liberated, funny, multi-talented, entrepreneurial, powerful yet meek, strong yet feminine, nurturing, truthful, uncovered, seeking, spiritual, giving, loving and most of all triumphant.

These are just a few of the words that come to mind when I think of the beautiful accomplished black women that I know who have shaped my life, served as my role-models, been my self-less caretakers, inspired me, encouraged me, stuck by me, loved me, and who have helped to make me the woman I am today. All of you know women like this too. We are special, unique, precious and priceless. To say these things aloud is in no way meant to diminish the equally wonderful characteristics of our white, Latina, Asian, Middle-Eastern & Native American sisters. Not at All.

But today I want to speak to us—the sisters who take care of everyone else—the sisters who go out and earn the money and still raise the family—the sisters who hold it down in an often hostile corporate or professional workplace. The sisters who quietly and patiently endure life’s slights, hurts, set-backs, and disruptions.  Many of who endure them alone without that God intended coverer in the form of a husband or provider.  Many of us are crying inside (I know), many of us are hiding, many of us want someone to say out-loud what we feel everyday—screaming at the top of our lungs (only doing so in our minds).

This is my “love letter” to the ladies who need to hear that they matter too, and that their contributions to our community and to each other will be well remembered generations from now. So often we get trashed at work, betrayed by false friends, battered by deadly words, shunned by weak men, envied by even weaker women who did not have the courage to go out and do what we did but want to reap the benefits just the same.  Don’t let the rest of the world trick you into believing that you are less than, not as valuable as, or somehow born to just “endure”. That is not true dear sisters—it simply is a lie.

Too often we (ME) focus on the bad sisters we have come across.  The ones who have maimed us, maligned us, stabbed us in the back.  We focus on those who we believed loved us and yet who walked away without so much of a warning—we focus on those who told us what we could not be or what we could not achieve.  As TD Jakes so rightly says “Let them GO—they were never meant for you—their part in your story is over. Accept it and move forward.

Shame on us for wasting our life’s precious energy in that way.  We spend far too much time tearing one another down and not building each other up.  Too many of us in positions to be role-models and servants, mentors, and repairers of the so-called breach—instead choose to hide, duck, and leave it to “someone else”. Too many of us in positions of power and influence talk one game, but live another.  Just so you know, no-one is fooled sister—we see you-- You will always know a woman’s heart by how she lives, by the fruit she bears in the form of her service to others, by her sacrifices of self to help others, by her willingness to elevate others higher, and by the impact of her positive deeds not the fleeting nature of her empty words.

We are not only meant to experience joy, love, happiness, and peace of mind—many of us are doing so and many of us are thriving in ways that we never celebrate!  

I have been writing this “love letter” of sorts to my sisters for some months now, but nothing helped to focus me more on what I wanted to say than what I experienced last May in Naples, Florida with over 600 “sisters” from around the country. I was blessed enough to attend as a speaker the 10th annual Odyssey Women’s Network Conference. I am still on a high months later because I had a chance to see who we really are on a full-scale represented in every age, from every region of the country.  I had no earthly idea (and I mean this) that there were so many successful, happily married, mothers of all ages who also happen to be accomplished black female powerhouses in America.  That Is not the picture we see every day and it is one we all need to see more of.

I so needed this experience. I needed to be among my sisters.  I needed to see that despite all that challenges us we are THRIVING and we are navigating, growing, learning, and transforming our lives into the direction of our hopes and dreams.

The world often sees us and describes us as too angry, too independent, too overbearing, too strong, not feminine enough, not “soft” enough, too hard, too bitter, too broken, too shallow, too and on and on. You all know the words.  You have all experienced them in your workplace, and sadly in your families and relationships. Sometimes to be candid those words fit us. I have met the sisters (sadly most of them older than me and who should know better) and sometimes  I have been the sister who was always looking for a fight, always looking to give someone a piece of my mind, always looking to “set her straight”.  Always ready to “box”—when being corrected—always ready to throw a punch back and in doing so miss the message.  

YUCK is all I can say—Get over it and STOP it.

Black women are resilient. They are strong, beautiful, and ever present. While I think many of the strengths we possess as a unique group likely apply to all women, there is no other group of women on earth that shares our great story.  There is no group of women quite like us on earth. Dare I say no form of human being on earth that has demonstrated time and time again the ability to be knocked down, torn down, shattered and yet   We originate from the center of the birthplace of civilization and we have endured the unthinkable.  Embrace all that is wonderful about you sisters and remember we live in special times.  Times that require us to mentor, encourage, uplift and inspire each other and the next generation of sisters!

If I have not love, I am nothing!

Sophia A. Nelson, President of iask